How does one come back to a blog that has been neglected for, well, a long, long, long, long time? Is there some protocol? Netiquette that one must follow? I suppose mostly, it’s just sucking up your pride and getting on with it, after all, it’s not terribly likely that anyone except family and facebook friends will read this and they know all the stuff already. But that’s okay, this is mostly for me. And my mother who always asks me two things: “Do you have more pictures” and “Why aren’t you writing”.
Honestly, I waffle. I like writing. I love going back and reading a year or two later and remembering all the little nuances of life that I had forgotten. On the other hand, I hate feeling lazy and unreliable and nothing makes me feel that more than setting myself goals/routines/schedules and having none of them last more than a few
weeks days hours.
Also, I’ve noticed a pattern. When life gets intense, I stop writing. I always thought I was good at getting my thoughts/emotions/stuff out, I always thought I was a very open book, what you see is what you get, but I have had a bit of a personal revelation in the last few years. I am really good at sharing what I am comfortable with and making it sound like I am baring my soul. When it comes to the real dig-deep kind of soul baring, however, I do. not. share. And more than that, if something really big is going on that I can’t share, because it’s the only thing on my mind, I just stop talking, stop communicating, stop going out of the house on the off chance that I might see someone and be forced to say ‘hi’.
So, the question becomes, why bother having a blog at all? That happens to be my question about a lot of things and honestly it’s a crappy question. I hate it. I hate that it feels proven right more times than not. But I have to believe that change is possible. I have to believe that what I have is a bad habit, a really, deeply-ingrained, hard-core bad habit, and not a massive character flaw.
Okay, then let’s change the question a bit: Why do I want a blog? I do like writing. When it’s going well, I love writing. Even when it’s not going that well, I love writing. I love having these snippets of life to relive when I’m feeling stagnant. I hope my kids will enjoy reading this someday. I like to believe that family and friends (of whom so many are scattered across the globe) enjoy keeping up with the mini adventures of our little family (and if they had blogs, I would be an avid reader. just sayin’. hint, hint). I like sharing reflections on life, the universe, and everything and having people come back with their own.
Yes, I miss my blog. Who knows what tomorrow brings? Not me, so today I blog.